We don’t like to admit it much, but I believe we all have certain qualities we sort of ‘look for’ in a potential mate.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I often say, “I don’t have a type…” just like the rest of us, but really what I mean when I say that is that I wouldn’t be closed-minded about getting to know anybody. To be honest, I fall in love with people every day. I look at character far more than I look at anything else in a person. That doesn’t mean that I don’t prefer darker men to lighter men or that I’m not crazy about a man who is tall versus a man who is short.
Nevertheless, those things are not deciding factors in my choosing to get to know someone better. I find that most times when I do decide to go after a person that I want, they hardly ever fit that typical person I picture I see in my mind. I end up building very genuine relationships with the person who actually isn’t much like the person I see in my head a lot. I won’t deny that it will be a little bit uncomfortable, but that brings me to my first point. So, here are three good reasons you should go for the guy who’s not your type.
- It takes you out of your comfort zone. Just like anything else worth having, it’s highly unlikely you will find the right person for you inside of your comfort zone. Usually, when I go after someone who I usually wouldn’t go for, it causes me to have to approach the entire situation completely different than I’m used to. I have to think of fresh ways to present myself and I have to open myself up to receive that person in whatever ways they may present themselves to me. It’s quite refreshing, to be honest. It’s the authentic ‘getting to know’ you moment. You have to really get to learn about that person and they have to do the same for you. It’s likely that you two will still find things you have in common, but you’ll have differences too, which is always fun and interesting.
- You’ll find better qualities to value in them. When you go for someone that you wouldn’t typically go for, you won’t be distracted by the qualities you usually look for in someone. That will allow you to open your eyes to many of the qualities you overlook because of what you’re used to. You will be able to see and appreciate the finer qualities of that person, which again makes for a great ‘getting to know you’ stage. As you learn more about that person you will learn to value the very things that set them apart from the kind of person you usually go for.
- It’s a new experience. If nothing else in life, we should always want to experience something fresh and new. It should be no different with finding new friends and pursuing new relationships. It’s important to want to experience new things with someone. It’s almost inevitable that if you pursue someone who you usually wouldn’t, the two of you will enjoy a good bit of new experiences together just off the strength of getting to know someone you usually wouldn’t have the opportunity of experiencing in that way. This, for me, is the most exhilarating part of going after the guy I usually wouldn’t approach. It’s what keeps me coming back.
I hope that this encourages you to go out and look for something a little different than you usually do. I also hope this gives you just a little bit more hope that love is out there for all of us. It may not look, feel, or be the way we imagine it, but it’s for the better. Let’s go find that special one.
Here’s to the best throughout the search.
This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.