As an entrepreneur and a first-time mom, I’m really hard on myself about my upkeep of friendships. I am really, really bad at calling back. I think if any of my friends could pick the one thing that I’m terrible at, that would be it. It’s not because I don’t want to call back or that I don’t enjoy our phone calls… I’m just busy. Busy with life, busy with being a mom, busy with trying to run a business… that kind of busy. I have a lot of friends who are in the same boat and I never chastise them for not being able to give me more of their time than they actually can. There’s a difference between a bad friend and busy friend and this is it.
A busy friend will designate time, a bad friend is unavailable.
Some people take offense to a person who says, “let me check my schedule,” but I literally have to check my schedule to make sure I’m not double booking myself or selling you short on time. Be lenient with your busy friends in this area. A bad friend just won’t be available. They don’t even take the time to try to find a window that will work for the two of you to get together.
A busy friend is late to the party, a bad friend never shows.
The busy friend is not going to go out every time they’re invited. They just can’t, but that doesn’t stop them from coming out occasionally. Yes, they will probably get there late and leave early, but they’re going to come. A bad friend won’t show at all. Yes, I know you might be thinking it’s silly to point this out, but the turn up is important too! It’s important to celebrate and have a good time together while we’re young!
A busy friend makes major events, a bad friend makes excuses.
Again, the busy friend can’t make it to many things, but they’re not going to miss the important stuff. They’re not going to miss engagements, baby showers, birthdays, even Super Bowl Sunday if that’s a tradition that the two of you share. A bad friend won’t make anything but excuses.
A busy friend supports, a bad friend “suggests.”
I was doing my best to be clever with my words here, but let me elaborate. A busy friend is still going to find time to support you in your endeavors. They’re going to build you up and share it with others. A bad friend is simply going to “suggest” what you should’ve done. They’re not very supportive, but they always have two cents to add.
A busy friend responds, a bad friend leaves you on ‘read.’
Jesus be a response! A busy friend might respond days later to a text that you sent them, but they will respond! A bad friend will leave you on ‘read’ showing you that they clearly read your message as soon as you sent it. Then have the nerve to text you later asking for something. Tuh!
A busy friend is loyal, a bad friend gossips.
No matter the distance or time, a busy friend is down for the cause. They are loyal. They don’t switch up just because the two of you don’t talk every day. A bad friend will find more time to talk about you than they will to hang out with you.
A busy friend wants to be around, but they’re limited… a bad friend limits your time with them.
A busy friend has no desire to be so busy that they can’t spend time with the people they love. Although their time is limited, they cherish what time they do get to spend with you. They don’t allow those limitations to limit your friendship. A bad friend limits your time with them. It’s just about the only time they stick to a strict schedule and they don’t let you forget about the little time they do make for you.
Choose your friends wisely and don’t be too hard on your busy friend who truly is a good friend!
This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.