I used to think I was doing myself a favor by instantly friend-zoning the men I met.
I make new friends like strippers make money—frequently, at a high volume, and with very little effort. With that, I found life a lot less complicated when I only established platonic friendships. As I grew older though, all of that changed for me. I realized that the reason I felt that there were no good men left to date is that I was friends with all my candidates! So, what was a girl to do? I didn’t leave myself any other option, and I’m glad that I didn’t. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to date your male friends.
- You already know his character flaws. No, he’s not perfect. In fact, he’s far from it. Still, there are a bunch of qualities in him that you really care for. Since you two have been friends, you’re already sure of what his character flaws are (and he knows yours, too). This makes things like getting cheated on or other relationship red flags easy to see if they ever become present. Depending on the level of maturity and depth of the friendship, it also eliminates the risk of pesky arguments. For example, if you know he’s not that good of a listener, you won’t be mad when you two are dating and he doesn’t listen to you while he’s watching the game.
- Deep down, you always wanted to date him anyway. Face it. We don’t really make friends without thinking to ourselves (even if it’s just for a second), could I date him? Most of the greatest parts of your life will be a result of taking risks – that goes for relationships, too.
- You can skip the getting-to-know-you stage. Okay, maybe not skip it altogether, but you’ll experience it differently. You two won’t be going through those fifty million awkward questions and instead will be spending time getting to know the sappy, sweet side of your friend turned lover. You’ll be getting to know the freaky side of your friend turned lover. You’ll finally learn the answers to all the things you used to wonder about your friend turned lover. It’s exhilarating, really.
- You can develop a deep, intimate relationship. As a result of getting to know your friend on a deeper level, you two will naturally develop an intimate relationship with one another. You’ll connect on a level that neither of you imagined beforehand. You’ll be connected to a point where you know exactly what makes them happy, sad, mad – you name it. If you thought that your friendship was fruitful, just watch where being connected on this level takes the two of you as you embark on a romantic relationship.
- It’s so crazy that it just might work. At the end of the day, you may learn that your friend was the one you were looking for all along. The thing about this though? You won’t know until you try!
If you’ve been feeling in your gut that you should tell your friend how you really feel about him, let this be the nudge you needed. Go get ’em, girl!
This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.