Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. We’ve seen fancy gifts and expensive dinners up and down our timelines–and while there’s nothing wrong with that at all, it’s not all that matter. There are a good number of women who claim not to want or need a man for anything and while that could very well be, I believe there are many things being in a relationship gets you that money can never provide. Here are 10 things she wants from you more than money and sex.
- She wants a friendship. Women want companionship. We want to be able to sit back and watch a movie with you–no “Netflix and chill.” We want to be able to have a beer and watch the game with you (even if we don’t fully understand what’s going on). We want to be able to call you with the latest tea. We want to share moments with you that make us laugh so hard that our ‘ugly laugh’ comes out. We want to build an unbreakable bond with you.
- She wants your time. We want to spend quality time with you whether doing something fun or just snuggled up on the couch. It’s no myth that people make time for the things that are important to them. This is one of the simplest ways to show her that you care about her.
- She wants your attention. Obviously, women want attention. We want to know that you care when we’re sick by bringing soup–or at least asking if we need anything. We want to hear you compliment us when we spend an extra 20 minutes perfecting out brows for date night (just in case any photo ops arise). We want you to know the difference between our moods without us having to tell you in detail that something’s up. We want you to pay attention to us.
- She wants your affection. There’s a reason why Tank, Bruno Mars, and Trey Songz can just about sing the panties off of most women. It’s what they’re saying. It’s the affection that they sing about showing their women. I don’t know what it is specifically about needing affection, but we need that shit. We want forehead kisses, booty rubs, and foot massages–and if that’s not the way you show your affection, that’s cool too… but whatever way you show your affection, show her.
- She wants your protection. Inside a man’s arms is one of the safest places a woman can find herself. We want to feel protected by you. We want to know that our mind, body, and heart is safe under your supervision–for a lack of better words. The security we get from knowing that you are concerned with our wellbeing is comforting beyond measure. A man who loves a woman will protect her at all costs and that’s exactly what we’re looking for.
- She wants to meet your friends. We don’t want to meet your friends to take our pick of the cutest ones. We don’t want to meet your friends to introduce them to our girls. We don’t want to meet your friends so they’ll tell us what you’re up to when you’re not with us. We want to meet your friends so that they know who you’re with and that we’ll be around from time to time. We want them to be comfortable around us and know that you’re in good hands being with us.
- She wants to meet your family. Don’t introduce a woman to your family who isn’t significant because no matter how she says she feels about it, it’s important. Women don’t take meeting the family lightly, and we shouldn’t. The same way we want to meet your friends to let them know what’s up, we want to do that with your family. We want them to know that we’re here for the long haul (or at least we want to be) and that we are going to do our best to make you happy.
- She wants to be shown off. There’s something special about being with a man who is so proud to have you by his side that he feels the need to share it with others. It doesn’t have to be a million social media posts–or even any at all–but we want to feel like you’re proud to be with us and that you made the decision consciously. Just like with showing affection, there’s no one recipe that works, but whatever way you can show her off that you’re comfortable with, do so. Show her how much she means to you.
- She wants to mean the world to you. WE. WANT. TO. FEEL. LIKE. THE. ONLY. GIRL. IN. THE. WORLD. No, we’re not… but we want to feel like this. We want to feel like we’re the reason why you smile. We want to feel like you only have eyes for us. Any man in a successful relationship knows that. Yes, we’re extra… but if you do this often enough, we won’t show it as much!
- She wants to build a life with you. Ultimately, we want to support you, love you, and treat you the same way we want to be treated. We want to be the partner you choose not to live without. We want to grow with you and build a life together. Take your time getting there, but this should be the main goal in any successful relationship.
Yes, flowers, shoes, and other gifts will make any girl feel special, but it’s definitely not all that matters.
This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.