I know we have all heard “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.” Though I don’t 100% agree with this method, I do know from experience the value in having a quality person to spend time with holds after a break-up. This can’t be just anybody, you probably should be more picky with this person then someone you’d actually wanna be with, but they should hold these characteristics to qualify as The Perfect Rebound.
- They have to be FUN! This is not a relationship. This is a friend for lack of a better term. They have to be someone you enjoy being around. The rebound’s purpose is to help you bounce back. Find someone who can teach you something new, that enjoys what you enjoy, etc. Basically, they need to be a good time.
- They have to be eye candy. Helllooooooo?! They have to be attractive. Don’t just pick the first decent guy that has an awesome personality. We’re not looking for a relationship with the rebound. We’re looking for fun and we’re being a little shallow during this time. Let’s face the facts, a “good personality” just isn’t gonna cut it this time around.
- They have to know their place. Don’t get it twisted. You are required to be honest with them about the role they are playing. Do not allow your rebound to catch feelings or be under the impression that they will ever be more than a rebound. This is not a safe zone for a relationship. No matter how much you enjoy their company, you NEED time alone to truly be ready to move forward to another relationship, even if it is with them. So be honest, but I urge you to also be careful. Rushing into a relationship right after a break-up is setting yourself up for failure in the next relationship.
- They have to have sexual chemistry with you. You can’t have a rebound who’s sex game is whack. *shrugs* That is counter-productive–especially if your ex was talented in that region. Your rebound should be mind-blowing, but we can settle for great. Haha! This is the perfect time to get all those little sexual kinks you have scratched. There’s no room for discomfort. You’re trying to build that confidence all over again. You’re irresistible so let them remind you of that. However, be safe, this is obviously a casual encounter, so protect yourselves!
Side Bar: You don’t HAVE to have sex to feel like you’ve moved on. I have experienced rebounds that were not physical in nature that were just as effective, as where I would have initiated a sexual relationship.
- They have to be funny. Personally, a good laugh gets me through any and everything. My successful rebounds in the past are the funniest/goofiest people I know. It’s just a part of them being enjoyable company.
- They have to care about you (and you should care about them too). There’s no reason why you guys can’t be friends, especially if the lines are drawn very clearly about the nature of your relationship. This goes to my original statement about how I don’t believe “getting under someone” is the best way to get over an ex. There does have to be a connection between the two of you, the connection just can’t be romantic. Having someone who cared about me on top of all these other qualities created friendships between me and these people who helped me move on from past relationships.
The rebound game isn’t for everyone. Some people aren’t able to separate the platonic and romantic connections. However, if you find someone who is, and you feel that’s what you need to continue on to the next step for your personal growth and eventual continuance on to your next relationship, enjoy yourself! This is a time to be free and explore and to have fun. Use this connection to learn more of yourself and what you need from another person, but tread carefully. Do not cause undo hurt onto an unsuspecting participant whilst trying to find yourself.
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